weak

well marc came home with some cloves muahhahaha yeah i'm weak but i'm ok with that
anyhow i get to drink tonite and smoke! laters

o thinks i want to write about later so i remembner when i'm sober
lesbians with kids
xmas with the fam
music
friendship
oldness

smoking

i miss it. . .i don't miss it, but i do. We both quit when we found out we were pregnant and I haven't smoked a single puff since. Now Christopher is born and times are stressful. It seems Marc and I are taking turns telling the other one not to go buy some cloves. Althought a few more times and instead of telling him not go buy some, I will be running up to the closest person smoking and snatch it right from their hands. I don't want to start smoking again bc I don't want Christopher to grow up seeing me smoke. I'm just not sure I am serious about not smoking. Its the rainy season here and it makes me miss smoking more then anything. Something about smoking under an awning while its raining and drinking hot coffee that is just wonderful. I miss that. I also miss the conversations I always seem to have when I'm out smoking with someone. Does this desire to poison my lungs ever go away? I'm not a person of strong will power when it comes to my vices. Do I wait until Marc gives in so I don't feel so guilty? Or do I just do what I want and demand a clove right now? I am trying to do the right thing and let neither of us go there, but damnit I'm not good at doing the right thing. Why is something tiny that i set on fire and suck on so desireable?

books

What Kind of Reader Are You? Your Result: Dedicated Reader You are always trying to find the time to get back to your book. You are convinced that the world would be a much better place if only everyone read more.
Obsessive-Compulsive Bookworm
Literate Good Citizen
Book Snob
Fad Reader
Non-Reader
What Kind of Reader Are You? Create Your Own Quiz

. . .

I guess I am starting a blog. . .not sure how often I will post or if any of it is even worth reading, but for what its worth I am blogging. It feels strange to think of writing again. It used to be so important to me, but the past few years I've barely written anything besides a grocery list. So if I randomly have words like potato, pesto, shredded cheese, mt. dew, etc. spread thru out my posts . . you know why.
A little about me-
-I am a new mom. My son, Christopher, is 3 weeks old and the most amazing thing in the world. I spend hours just watching him and kissing his hands. I never pictured myself as a mom or if I did the picture didn't seem to fit. It has turned out to be the best reason to be sleep deprived lol
-I am a new wife. Marc and I have been together almost 4 years and for over 2 of those years we have been engaged. We just never got around to working on the wedding itself . . until we found out we were pregnant. Originally we were going to wait till after Christopher was born to have the wedding, but as parental pressure went and our own thoughts we decided to have the wedding before. Marc is Mr. Nice Guy. The kind of guy I always wanted, but never dated. He's real and loving. I knew I loved him when I hugged him and it felt like coming home. He's also the only person I have ever committed to and been honest with in my life. I'm as bad as the rest of my generation . . in a room full of ppl yet I am alone.. sound familiar? we're all guilty of it. We never truly let anyone in always have to have something to hide or something we're unable to say. I've tried not to do that with Marc, not that I've always succeeded, but I've tried.
-I am an old animal lover. I have 3 cats and if I weren't married, I would be the crazy cat lady. Magick (the demon cat) Shadow (short bus cat) Loki (bear squirrel dog cat)
well that's me :)
-I am a dreamer. I live in my own world and I like it here.